Philly Report #2: What Happened Next and Mark Zuckerberg

Told you, babydolls. Broke-Ass promised to return forthwith and–oh, look at the time! It’s forthwith. Back to Broke-Ass and her reentry to Philly.

So, on a drizzly, fuscous morning in late February, the morning after she had first opened the gates to La Petite Maison, Broke-Ass was acquainting herself with the area by dragging her sad, rheumy joints up Germantown Avenue, when she glimpsed a sign in a building’s window reading, “MuseHouse: A Center for the Literary Arts.” Fantastic, thought Broke-Ass. Somewhere I can work. To be clear, her thought was that this was a spot where she could rent a desk and some peace and quiet so that she could get some work done, as she had for years at the Brooklyn Writers’ Space, chunking out two books, TV pilots, and other sundry high-status, low-paying projects.

Turned out, MuseHouse is a salon for readings and workshops, and the director asked Broke-Ass to teach a course on the spot. Wow, sure! So, that’s how Broke-Ass landed her first small, part-time job in Philly.

Thusly encouraged, Broke-Ass then shoveled Two Lumps of Sugar into the stroller and headed further up the avenue to the Little Treehouse Cafe, a dream Waldorf-inspired playspace for lumpkins and a genuinely pleasant spot for parents to hang out. And very, almost strangely, reasonably priced, making it an instant Broke-Ass favorite. She struck up a conversation with the lovely owner, and was shortly thereafter hired to write a blog, Tired But Happy Mom, as a way for the business to reach those of us fitting that description. And that’s how Broke-Ass got her second small, part-time gig in Philly.

Later that week, Broke-Ass decided to send notes to heads of journalism and writing departments of the area’s esteemed colleges and universities to see if she might be of some service as an adjunct professor of some stripe. And what do you think? Everyone responded. Lord willing, this may be the way Broke-Ass gets her third small, part-time gig in Philly.

Come on. Have you ever heard of anything more awesome? Forget it, don’t tell her. Just let her be happy for for the time being. Broke-Ass is well aware that none of the above will make her super rich. What will make her super rich is marrying Mark Zuckerberg. Which is Broke-Ass’s plan to land her fourth gig in Philly. In the meantime, it’s sure as hell nice to be wanted, a sense she has only via love of the schmushkies and contact with you, babydolls.

Next time: a modest proposal, Mark Zuckerberg. Eyes on you.


About brokeassgrouch

I'm goddamned broke and grouchy. I live in the middle of the damned ghetto and raise chickens for eggs; grow all my own vegetables and fruit; bake the bread and make the cleaning products. Why? Because I fucking have to, that's why! That's what you do when you're fucking poor! You have to make the shit yourself, dumb-ass! Broke-Ass Grouch is sick of all you Bennington and RISD trustafarians yapping about your "urban farming co-ops" and your "carbon conscious lifestyle" and your "green choices" in the Times Styles section and every alternapress periodical that you can pick up for free in every eye-wateringly expensive, edgy bakery or green-market. Maybe when you have a trust fund, you can make "choices" or have a "lifestyle" or "decide" how to "spend" your "money." Excuse me, but Mama is just trying to feed her kids over here, you little shits. And stop spraying your art-school graffiti on the fence of the vacant lot across the street from my house. I know who you are, and I'm telling my friend Keith (who lives in the projects) that it was you who painted that cartoon of the African mask. So what can I tell you? I don't fucking know. I know a lot about being broke, sure as Bob's your fucking uncle. I know about how useless an Ivy League degree is when you're flat-ass broke. I know how to unclog a drain with baking soda and vinegar, and I know how to make my own CHEESE, for fuck's sake. You tell me.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Philly Report #2: What Happened Next and Mark Zuckerberg

  1. Jen says:


  2. Jeannemae says:

    Never mind Mark Zuckerberg, what happened to Big Daddy???

  3. Liz says:

    big daddy is still on the scene, yes?? plus, i saw that social network movie…i don’t know if zuks would make such a great life partner…

  4. Liz Beckman says:

    this is great news, brokeass! and oh, I hope Big Daddy is still on the scene….i’ve seen that social network movie and i’m not sure zucs would be such a terrifc commited life partner…

  5. GiRRL_Earth says:

    As my Nonna used to say, “Marry a rich man with one foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel.”

  6. HOORAY for part time jobs that make you feel worthy: ’cause you are amazing SGT!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s